Is there anything wrong with me because I'm still single?
08.06.2025 00:34
Relationships and companionships are necessities for humans. In the story of human origin, when Adam and Eve were made, the very first humans were made as a couple. The concept of companionship was very different for our ancestors, where the primary function of human life was survival and producing progeny. Thus, mankind has gone through various disasters in history, from the Ice Age to the Metroid and volcano eruptions. These had destroyed the ancient civilization, and the survival of the fittest was worshipped.
Now, singlism in many countries is seen as a choice rather than an outcome of low self-esteem and poor social skills. It is seen that when society becomes comfortable with some phenomenon, people start adapting it more openly.
Not only men but women are also choosing not to have any partners. Recently, Trent skyrocketed on TikTok, where people are posting their confessions that they are single, they want to date, but they don't have any option, and mostly women are in their thirties. Now I will give you the reason why both sides are infuriated and frustrated with each other.
We are the most narcissist generation, and it is affecting our capability to bond with others, especially in relationships. As I said, most efforts are silent efforts. We need to put on glasses that magnify the effort others are making. In therapy, it is very difficult to make someone believe that they are wrong. Many psychological factors come into play, like a fragile ego, unconscious conflict, defense mechanisms, etc.
Globalization and industrialization have changed the direction of the human race; now, nations do not worry about their existence but increase the quality of life.
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Social media has played a crucial role in making people delusive about relationships; most of the content is fake and made to gain views. Believing in such an influencer is an act of dull mind. Set your standards based on your self-evaluation, and then you will get out of your own unearthly heaven.
Your partners, if you are in a relationship, deserve the effort because everyone makes a silent effort, and it is shallow to mention your efforts every time.
Women have also changed their priorities; the role of women portrayed in movies has shaped their thinking. Most women focus on themselves and earn enough money to support themselves. They do not depend on the man for their bread and butter. The major attraction for women in men was money; now that they are hustling themselves and earning equal to men, they prefer to be single and entangled in a relationship.
Ask your gurus why they are single and why every person rejected them on date.Why do opposite genders dislike them, and why don't they have peaceful relationships?
The radical feminism and toxic muscularity have put both genders on a pedestal, telling them they deserve the world while you are nothing is gibberish.
We never learn self-evaluation, so as a result, self-criticism and self-righteousness rise in our personalities.
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I call this inner work: meeting your dark side and channeling that energy into positive qualities. It does take time and effort to become a high-value person, but when you have high-energy people around you, you can sense it and respond according to it. That's how the law of attraction works.
Humans marry and produce heirs for the purpose of survival, and the selection of men and women is also based on these criteria. Galant men are preferred over weak ones, and fecund women are preferred over infertile.
Self-evaluation is a journey of introspection, a mirror to identity, to correctly evaluate your worth in society. When we are lazy, resentful, self-obsessed, and disloyal, how can we expect our partner to be an ideal lover? When we don't even know how to receive and reciprocate love.
4. Radical Feminism.
This one is common: we humans psychologically overestimate our capabilities, and often narcissistic behavior causes us to have unmet delusional standards. If you ask someone what the criteria of their ideal partner are, they will list down so many things, and when you ask what you will bring to the table, they will give the most average answers, such as loyalty, time, and hotness! Which is not an extraordinary standard.
My mom said to me,You know, sweet heart, one day you should settle down and marry a rich man.I said,Mom, I am a rich man."
2. Unrealistic Standards.
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There are many signs that indicate a lack of effort and attention, such as not spending time together, not arranging dates, ignoring, or not wiling to compromise on planes just to help you.
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In changing the goal of mankind, our standard of choice has drastically changed. The world has gone through an intellectual revolution, and people demand rationality and reasoning behind every matter. Even though it is about choosing the right partner, and yes, logical reasoning should be considered while choosing a partner, we will discuss how that has affected the bonding between couples.
We grow up listening to stories where men stand all day in the heat just to catch a glimpse of their ladylove. Even replying on time is a genuine effort.
The reason why men are choosing to be single is difficult to evaluate, as this behavior was recently noticed and research is being done, but we still don't have concrete evidence regarding the specific hypothesis.
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One piece of advice worth mentioning is that your efforts must align with your role. Women aren't made to earn money for their whole family, paying for vacations. Similarly, men should be least likely to put effort into home decoration, etc.
If men and women think they are blessed or superior naturally, the universe deserves to treat them with all love just because who they are is a delusion. If you think you are charming, pretty, and skilled, remember that there will always be more pretty, charming, and skilled people than you.
The ratio of being single is higher among men than in women worldwide, and it is shocking because men are polygynous; their ancestors used to have more than one female partner, but why this paradigm shift?
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3. Change in priorities.
Men also handled loneliness negatively; the cases of depression and anxiety are much higher in single men as compared to women.
Changing in the traditional roles of male and female leads to a change in perspective towards marriage and long-term relationships, as society is becoming more accepting of the idea of singularity, and now it is no longer seen as a failure; people are opting for it deliberately.
Some of the commonly seen reasons are skill deficit, can't match the standard of girls, self-esteem issue, availability of sex, porn consumption, fear of rejection, change in priorities, and being single by choice.
1- Not Putting Enough Efforts.
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